Weekly: Feb 20-26

I was working. I have a job, okay?

This month, live a moral life. Your coworkers do not, in fact, care about your stories in any capacity. I am speaking specifically about you, guy who used to paint his nails and now thinks he is a tradesman at my level. Shut the fuck up and please learn how to use a caulking gun. I am going to show up to site tomorrow with a brick if you continue.

Careful out there

Lucky numbers:

41,287

Lucky foods:

Yogurt

Watch out for:

Government correspondence

Line of the week:

“ .”